Julie knew in her heart that it was time to change jobs. She was ready for a promotion... actually she was more than ready for a promotion. Her boss, Ronnie, had been promising to broaden her responsibility and promote her to Director for more than a year.  What made staying so hard was not that she didn't' like her job, she loved her job and her staff. It was the anticipation of the promotion that never came.

Sure, she wanted to step up and she was ready to step up. She had a successor for her position who was already doing much of her job and he was doing it quite well. She would have felt far more patient if promises and a clear picture of what her next step would be weren't made. What compounded the situation was that not only was she frustrated, so was her successor, Bob. She could tell that he, too, was becoming disengaged. She had a sense that if something didn't change soon, he, too would jump ship.

Julie and Bob are both high potentials-a strong record and a series of rapid promotions behind them. They both were quite loyal to the company. Ronnie, wanted to motivate Julie to stay by offering the promotion, but she was not ready to re-organize the department to make it happen. The year presented other priorities. She was sure that Julie would understand. While Julie intellectually understood what was going on, her emotions did not.  She had prepared herself and her team for the transition. She had delegated much of her responsibilities to Bob. Her department was running smoothly and she was not only growing bored, but distrustful of her boss.

At first, she didn't understand why she felt the way she did. Ronnie didn't lie to her. The promotion was still in the wake. Yet, it stood there like a carrot on a stick. The excitement over the promotion was never fulfilled with reality...like opening a beautifully wrapped gift only to find a note saying: "Check back later," inside the empty box. The joy she had derived from her current position had waned both as she turned over responsibility to Bob and waited. It was the emptiness of the promise that caused her the most pain...followed by disengagement that led to her leaving the company. Surprisingly, Bob, too, left the company instead of filling her vacant spot as was intended.

Ronnie didn't understand why this came about. She was totally baffled how she could loose them both and yet their performance had been so high, she praised and valued them,  and both knew they were in line for promotions.

In your life, how are you effected by timing... by promised made, a picture of the future formed and the reality that never seems to happen? Where might you unintentionally be doing this to others--causing false hopes, mistrust and disengagement? What expectations have you created that you have not followed through on? What can you do to rectify the situation?

"Don't Just Do Something," Stand There, Sandra  Janoff and Marvin Weisbord

 "Leading Cross-Cultural Disengagement: Merger and Acquisition Failure" article by Sandy Weiner, MCC with Roberta Hill, MCC.  If you have not already, we invite you to request a download of our article by sending an email to: mergers@aweber.com

Overwhelmed, feeling closed-in or having too much to do at work? Possibly take a look at your desk--just do visual scan of the area around where you sit.... Is your desk crammed high with papers and projects or too cluttered? Consider removing most of what is on your desk... possibly creating of list of things to do and filing the stacks away or simply moving them somewhere off your desk and out of your visual working space. You might need a separate work desk to accomplish this. Opening your work space up, could lower your stress level and raise your state of creativity and concentration. At the least, the closed in feeling should dissipate.

As strong emotions well up inside of you, safely let them go, releasing them. By blocking them, the energy either builds up and the emotions intensify or their energy gets stored somewhere in your body effecting your internal health and well-being.

"The Wisdom of Menopause:the complete guide to women's health and wellbeing, by Dr. Christ iane Northrup 

As a team building exercise for a brand new, Pat decided to bring his team together in an informal setting (at his home) to make Onion Cakes or what later became known as Onion Pizzas, together. He purchased the ingredients, arranged the implements and had a recipe ready to follow. Pat came and went throughout the activity, checking on the status and pitching in for short periods of time. The group had a great time, especially throwing the pizza dough around to stretch it and knead it!

They prepared and cooked onions and bacon, then layered the pizza dough with them interspersed with layers of cheese and sour cream. It was exactly as the recipe called for. They admired their creation as they put it in the oven to bake as the team cleaned up, then sat down to discuss projects. It was a wonderful creation whose aroma followed them as they worked. All were in high sprits and relaxed.

When the pizza was ready, they sat down to eat. What was most interesting was that half the group hardly ate and one member did not eat at all. They all participated in the project whole-heartedly. No one commented on the decision to make the pizza. They moved together full steam ahead. Why didn't the whole group delve into dinner? Was it a lack of hunger?

Later, after the dinner, it was discovered that that several people had food allergies, as well as a vegetar ian and a person who kept Kosher in the group. The ingredients used and the choice to make this recipe hindered these folks from enjoying the meal itself.

So, what does this have to do with leadership and safe space? Often we begin a project in the middle... we move full-steam ahead with a good idea without first taking the time to find out if the project is in-line with everyone's vision of the outcome and their values... Onion Cake for a vegetar ian is great without bacon, cheese or sour cream... for the person who kept Kosher...without the bacon and bacon fat would have worked and for the person with a while flour allergy... a different choice of mix or flour would have worked. Each person went into the process thinking that tall would be fine. As the ingredients slowly emerged and some of them realized that they should not eat the pizza for their various personal reasons, no one said anything. For the sake of the whole, they continued to cook the pizza. However, when they sat down to eat, the dynamics of the group died. There was clearly an air of discomfort.

How often, do we move a head and not state our concerns? More importantly, how often do we begin a project without knowing if the team is truly on the same page - holding the same picture of the intended outcome.  Taking the extra time in the beginning to create a truly shared vision based on common core values could be the missing piece to creating successful outcomes. Add one more ingredient... asking the team members during the implementation process to share their thoughts and insights, encouraging them to modify the recipe might have created a slightly different outcome -- one that could have satisfied everyone or at least more of the group... and enabled a safer and more trusting environment to share differences, needs and perspectives then and in the future.

"The range of what we think and do
is limited by what we fail to notice.
And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice
There is little we can do to change
Until we notice how failing to notice
shapes our thoughts and deeds."

RD Laing, as related by Mike Bell, British Columbia insearchnet@list.nea.org
August 10, 2007

We now have the PowerPoint presentation and voice recording from our Leading Cross Cultural Re-engagement Webinar ready for downloading.  Send an email to mergers@aweber.com   If you confirm your subscription we will send you the material.