For Carley the days seemed to drag on. Always the same pattern: get up, get ready for work, a short conversation with her partner and then off to work. The only thing that seemed to change at work was the problems she had to solve. It was more like a habit than living, though. Each day she would come home and talk about the problems at work, the tensions, the mistakes, the traffic, construction, ... all the things that went wrong.

When she was asked to describe her life, all she could say was that it was boring. She could pretty much predict how each day would go.

I wondered aloud why she chose the work she did. I didn't think it was a very powerful question. However, she immediately sat up straight and began the story of why she chose her profession. How she loved to develop new technology. It was a bit like StarTrek, for her..."going where no man has gone before." She talked about her early days.

Then, settled back into a slump when she came to the present: leading several teams of engineers on multiple projects. She no longer felt a part of the world of creation, but removed from it. She saw her role as more of a necessary administrative evil. Carley missed the creative world she left behind.

When I asked her to imagine her staff and what they were doing. She was excited. Then, when I asked her position herself in way that supported their creativity and further their development, a light seemed to come on. She realized that she is now in a position to be an enabler of creative space. When she returned to her office, she felt alive and a part of her work. She felt purpose again. She looked at her team with warmth, no longer feeling a hidden jealousy.

Over the next few months, through the combined efforts and input of Carley and her teams, she changed the office environment to be more creative and open. Her staff chose to paint the walls with murals. They brought in flowers and pictures. Her work area became one that people all over the company loved to visit for inspiration and energy.

What was most important was that Carley found her purpose and joy of living, again....and she found new ways to continue to create while enriching the lives of others.


Do you have some core need(s) you have overlooked satisfying? Is there something you used to do that gave you energy or purpose? How might you integrate it into your life? What do you need to do to work in the world lovingly?

"To work in the World lovingly means that we are defining what we will be for, rather than reacting to what we are against." Christina Baldwin
from: The Practice of Kindness: Meditations for Bringing More Peace, Love and Compassion into Daily Life, Forward by Rabbi Harold Kushner (1996)

Grounded for Life?! Stop Blowing Your Fuse and Start Communicating with Your Teenager, by Louise Felton Tracy, M.S. is not only a super book to gain insight on how to positively interact with your teenager or pre-teen, but is also a primer to learn the basics of carrying on a coaching conversation.

The Practice of Kindness: Meditations for Bringing More Peace, Love and Compassion into Daily Life, forward by Rabbi Harold Kushner (1996) 

Child's Play: Allowing time for play. Bring together a small group of people and play tennis or badminton. Incorporate one new rule. Every time a player attempts to hit the ball or birdie they must laugh aloud whether they hit it or not.
Office Child's Play: Carry a small ball with you every where you go. Every half hour bounce the ball either on your desk (not too high or hard) or on the floor. If possible, head outside and bounce it while you walk or gather a small group and play catch.
Play is a wonderful way to ease stress and build strength.

The meeting was going poorly. Marcus had laid out his plans for the company. The Acquisition was only days old. Marcus was holding his first on-site meeting with the company acquired and his core team.  The purpose of the meeting was to establish transition and integration plans.

Marcus was convinced his strategy was the best way to go. His team had analyzed the numbers, the market and culture of the firm they bought. Why couldn't the new company see it? There was so much resistance!

As he sat on his plane back to Switzerland, he reflected on the meeting. Marcus did make some headway. They would be ready to start integrating their  technologies. Many issues were put on the table and a few were resolved. Yet, he felt that there was a tension, resistance in the room - more like a fear.

Nine weeks after the merger the VP of sales from the company they acquired quit. It wasn't the most tragic loss, but Marcus has a sense it was the tip of the iceberg. Before a meltdown started, he held a meeting of the key players on both teams, facilitated by two outside consultants.

He brought them all to the company headquarters in Switzerland.  For the first time, the new members of the company started to get a feel for the atmosphere of the parent company.

The meeting proceeded in manner differently than the previous meetings. He shared his vision and then the group members shared theirs. They talked about their past and achievements. Together, they formed a holistic vision and a strategy to achieve it. In the end it wasn't very different than the one he had laid out two months earlier. However, the atmosphere was different.

They began to form a team. In the 3 days that they met, they learned a lot about each other and how to best support a common future. No doubt there was energy toward moving ahead.  Some would chose to be a part of the future and others move on, but all felt they had been heard and their input valued.

We have found that a major key to successful integration is involvement. This is central in many ways throughout the organization. Cultural gaps can be bridged, technology and processes changed, but it is (in most cases) the people in the system who in the end face the customer, attracting and maintaining business, innovating, collaborating and make the company all it can be!

When a project goes smoothly we rarely stop and praise our decisions and our work. When change happens rapidly it all looks and feels easy. However there is a lot of experience that goes into knowing when and what to do; asking the right questions and making good decisions; integrating growth, enabling the organic to flow... all this is part of mastery.
What ways have you reached mastery? How do you honor your talents and all you have mastered?

"It is the mark of a good action that it appears inevitable in retrospect." Anonymous, from: The Practice of Kindness: Meditations for Bringing More Peace, Love and Compassion into Daily Life, Forward by Rabbi Harold Kushner (1996)

Ronnie sat her office and looked around. Everything was familiar to her. Her promotion to General Manager of the UK office was now3 months old. She felt that the company had not adequately prepared her for her job. While the Brits spoke English, just like Americans, she found there were large cultural differences that even showed up in the meaning of words and expressions. She was learning and the cultural training she received helped.
What was most frustrating for her was that she did not feel qualified to do her job. Ronnie was one of the company's best Sales Managers and had developed accounts and teams around the world. When it came to selling, marketing, sales team development, she felt at home.

Last week, I overhead my son talking to a friend on the phone. (It was not hard to overhear him, as he was sitting right next to me.) He was telling his friend how he was afraid that the other kids would tease him. He talked about this for quite a while, including how he made up his mind to give it a shot anyway. Then all of the sudden and with great emphasis, he said: "No! Nobody teased me! Quite a few kids told me that they were amazed that I had the courage to perform on stage."

I knew my son was nervous about performing in his first school play. It was a musical and he had a major role with 2 solos. I knew he was a bit nervous as well as being excited.

It was clear that he was nervous, when he asked me to teach how to use EFT again AND he started using it, including on stage (inconspicuously).
This was a big step for my once very shy son.  He is also quite a bit younger than most of the kids in the play.

What was so amazing for me was that he was so concerned about his peers' reaction, yet did it anyway and had a great time in the process. For a 7th grader, this is no small feat!

When I asked him what helped him the most, he said that he knows no matter what happens, he has someone to fall back on. He knows he will be accepted no matter what. Looking at me, giving me one his half smiles he added that he knows he is loved.